After having an online discussion, it was highlighted to me the importance of women talking about sex openly and comfortably. It can be agreed that in Australia, America and many other western cultures men have had the privilege of openly discussing their sexual “conquests”, preferences and self love habits without intense societal judgement. Its normalised for a man to masturbate, have sex as frequently as they want and how they want yet society often critisises and labels women who do so.
Society is changing positively in this aspect however there is still judgement and unnecessary expectations upheld for a woman that doesn’t seem to apply to men. Even if you do not have such negative views, there is words and thoughts that come into ones mind when thinking of women who chose to have consensual sex either frequently, with multiple others or with still-controversial methods such as Anal Sex. How a woman dresses or behaves is more than often targeted. We’ve heard the word ‘Slut’ or ‘Easy’ passed around too often as well as the assumption that a woman would fuck everyone in some instances. Some people even use these arguments to disgustingly justify rape culture.
Its not just men who spread such judgemental ideas but women too which is in my opinion is somewhat more painful. We should not be restricting our own freedoms that have been legalised through the work of previous individuals. Many countries still do not have this right where rape is blamed on and even punished to a victim, marriage is necessary for sex and within that marriage a man it is legal for a man to rape his wife as often as he likes.
I highly recommend the book “Better Than Sex: Women Write About Sex and Romance in the Digital Age” Edited by S.Trenoweath particularly relevant is the chapter ‘More things change’ where the writer highlights the differences in openness during focus group sessions of young males who were able to dive straight into the topic vs young females who appeared more shy in responding. It also highlighted the existence of inequalities in social ettiquette between males and females when it came to sex and the discussion of sex.
Thus as individuals we need to feel empowered to have healthy discussions openly and respectfully about female pleasure, sex and freedoms. We should not be so quick to label others. Now more than ever, there is a reason to continue posting here and expressing my thoughts. Some day soon I hope to reflect on this post and see how societal differences have changed positively over time. I encourage you to share your thoughts via the comment space below as well as in discussion with your peers.